Selfishness or Helpful…

Or is it selfishness in the disguise of helpfulness?

I have somewhat difficult topics and situations I want to start talking about and I am starting with this one. I have been studying some Psychology topics and I am excited to start discussions or rants in my case about some of these topics.

So here goes on the first one. Feel free to jump in and post your rant in the comments about your situation you have been dealing with or dealt with in the past. I am hear to listen and sometimes just sharing it with someone helps you to feel better or possibly spark a solution!

How do you handle these situations?

I am talking about those friends or family, who give or buy you things,

when you have:

  • asked not to buy your children candy?
  • or to please not buy me anything,  because I have enough clutter I am trying to get rid of it.
  • don’t give us cakes or other desserts or mixes to make them. We are trying to eat healthy around here and have sensitivities and health issues where we shouldn’t have certain things. There are also big diseases in the family that we are trying to protect our selves from developing by staying away from certain things that could help bring them on (along with the emotional ties that affect the body and bring about diseases, I can share more about this in a later post once I get the medical journal data together  to share some facts. Different topic all together)
  • please don’t give us body soaps, lotions etc. We try to only use natural products and make a lot of our own now for several reasons but mostly to rid toxins the best we can from our home.
  • or you in casual conversation say you don’t like something or you like another brand better and that person goes out and gets you the thing you said you didn’t like. I think its sabotaging don’t you? Like they want to make you have an emotional break down!
  • How about those people who leave things at your house to “store it for me for just a few weeks ” and then never come back to get it?
  • Or they, a family member, comes and stasy with you for a short time to get back on their feet, then they over stay their welcome by several months, don’t help out, don’t pay rent, store all their crap in your house and garage and all your closets. Then they move and put all their stuff in storage at their new place because they don’t want to inconvenience the new person they are mooching, I mean renting a room from. Which is just a nice way of saying “you were not as important to me as the new person who I am not related to”. UGGGGG.  OK this is a different rant also.

 

My husband often thinks that if someone gives you something, don’t get rid of it or throw it away.  So if someone gives you candy, go a head and eat it. Should a person with diabetes eat that candy or cake just because someone gave it to them even though its detrimental to their health? We wouldn’t want to be impolite would we? Or waste it! Even if it made that someone sick!

I think in my situation, maybe yours, that these “just trying to help” people are really just relishing in that they gave you something. It stems more from selfish “build them selves up” than it is for actually helping. Some people truly think they are doing something for you but deep down it was really all for them. That little voice that may be saying to them “they will love you if you give them this” pat them selves on the back now! Or “I can’t let him/her have more than me” so if you buy a new car they run out and buy one too. Or “They can’t lose weight before me so I will make them a cake”. You know those people right? Or do they only live in my world? Am I the only one feeling this way?

I am not talking about the occasional “oh I thought of you when I saw this and its just what you like”.  Like my mom randomly purchased a cute little covered dish to go with my grapevine milk glass. That was sweet and it goes with my collection. But I am like my mom, we don’t like excessive clutter knickknacks sitting around.  So she wouldn’t go out and just buy me stuff all the time to make her self feel better because she knows it wouldn’t make me feel better to have it. She is a smart cookie! A sugar cookie lol.

This was fun.

over and out!

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One Response to Selfishness or Helpful…

  1. Cathi says:

    I love you no matter what. I do hate clutter tooooo. Tell them just to give you money to help you out..

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