I have been on a journey, some of it good, some of it frustrating. My journey has brought me through many of life happenings along with some heart and emotional issues that had to deal with homeschooling. To be honest I was hating homeschooling. I was so burnt out that I literally was counting down the years until I could stop. How long was it until I could get my house back. How long until I could get rid of all the curriculum and books I have collected, and I collected a lot because I am, or was, a curriculum and book junky.
I graduated my eldest a year early. Then I took a year off, basically. We ran a home daycare (we needed the income) and my youngest unschooled, again. I really could not stand to “do school” another day. I was physically and mentally drained. I could not keep up. We purchased a house that needed work (see quad crashers series for some posts). I was trying to homeschool, renovate, and then start a daycare on top of all the other homekeeping I was doing. I finally gave up. I just couldn’t do it any more.
Since then we have sold that house and purchased another fixer upper. This time is different. I am not doing a daycare. My youngest is focusing on being a chef as we plan the upcoming school year. She has been thriving in the areas she is most interested as well as learning new instruments on her own or with the help from her older sister. My oldest is working and preparing to study to history through online college. Things are moving right along.
So how did I come to a heart change back to homeschooling? I am not sure. Some how God has spoken to me and showed me that my priorities have been wrong. I tend to worry, about everything that is little. But not the big stuff. When my husband was laid off several times, I didn’t worry. I knew God would take care of us. But little things, how my house looks, earning money to pay for house decor or candles or tires for my Jeep, or just having my Jeep. It was my dream car, but it kept us in debt. God has shown me I have let my self get materialistic, when I use to care less about things. Pressure from others to “keep up” can be detrimental to your spiritual life. Some people are always in a competition with you whether you realize it or not. Eventually you do realize it and you also realize that is has been effecting you and gets you off track. That happens in life and in homeschooling, which is why I don’t join co-op groups. I would always feel bad because I wasn’t doing this or that, or I wasn’t using this expensive curriculum that is supposedly the best.
But now I am refocused, or getting refocused. I am getting excited about homeschooling again. I don’t feel the pressure. I do want to mention that I feel like I have been on a roller coaster ride with homeschooling. When I started out I felt frustrated, then I didn’t care what others thought and was blissful, then I developed burn out that became a raging fire. Now I am headed towards bliss again, I hope lol.
Our new home is another fixer upper. But I am not going to let it get in my way. Most of the big stuff is done. We are in the middle of the kitchen remodel and when that is done we should be ready to start school. I have that part planned out. This home is going to be different. The last one was for us to fix up and flip. This home is going to be just that, a home. A place where my grandchildren will come to visit, when I have them, and a place where we will have large family gatherings.
I know this was kinda long for me but I really wanted to share what was going on.
This is why I am coming back to this blog. It was my outlet as I walked through my homeschool journey. I miss it. So I am back….